Taking Taxis


246 Spring Street please. A place called Parlor. 

What are the cross streets?

Maybe it’s presumptuous, but I always feel like the person driving should know where to go. Especially when said person is getting paid  
Let me see…
(Looks at GPS) Oh there is traffic, it will take 15 minutes
My phone says four minutes. My phone must be lying to me! 
You think I’m lying to you?
No, no I don’t think that! I was actually serious. I think my phone is lying. 
I know one way to go that will be fast
I really don’t think you’re lying. I was actually just telling my friend Cleo about the word liar. I wouldn’t call you a liar. Unless of course I knew you had lied. I’ve only called two people a liar. Both happen to be men. But I definitely don’t think all men lie. Or that you were lying about the traffic. There might be traffic. I don’t know. 
I want to get you there so I can pick up more people because that’s how I get paid
I thought if I had a really long trip then that was good too?  
I really don’t think you’re a liar. I just want to say that again.
Okay. Not a problem.
What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen while driving? I’ve always wanted to ask. I really wanted to write a book about that. It would just be taxi drivers telling stories. It’d be the nosiest book ever 
You wrote it?
Well then I realized I’d have to take a lot of cabs and so no, but then I thought I’d make an instagram for whenever I was riding. It’d be like humans of new york, but taxi cab drivers only  
White girls making out a lot with each other
I don’t think I would make a book about white girls making out a lot. Do you think white girls make out with each other a lot?  
That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. It happens quite a bit
I’m telling the truth
Oh gosh you still think I think you’re lying. When I say really I’m really just agreeing  
We can’t get out on spring, but I’ll drop you close. Maybe your boyfriend can meet you?
I’m just going to a party.  
Have you ever been in love?
Yes, with my wife. We celebrate 22 years next week
You’ve been married for as long as I’ve been alive kind of  
She is a good woman. We met in India
I know she is. I bet she’s a true diamond with a kind heart
She will wait up for me to come home
That’s the cutest thing I’ve heard all night. I’m into it. That’s my new phrase   
It’s not this street, but the next. Just make a right and then a left
Can’t you just turn down this street? 
There is construction. I cannot do it
I cannot-
No I was agreeing again. Like ‘really? oh okay!’ It’s confusing. I should stop saying that  
Have a good night
You too! A left then a right? 
A right then a left. Can your boyfriend meet you?
I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m just going to a party  
Goodnight mam. Have a safe night.
 I then got out the cab and randomly see my friend Justin who gives me the biggest hug in the world.  I wonder if this made the taxi driver happy or confused. He waved out the window as he drove away.

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